


The Chainsaw Hack

by Runespoor



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Gen, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Quadrant Confusion, Rainbow Drinkers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-09
Updated: 2012-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-09 12:20:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/455393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runespoor/pseuds/Runespoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Kanaya is the last descendant of the rainbowdrinkers, Karkat is her bodyguard, and Mindfang pulls their strings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Chainsaw Hack

**Author's Note:**

> I chose to use the spelling “Kanaya”. Flames demanding I change it because “she’s called Kanaia in Japanese!!1” will be used to roast marshmallows.

The Forgotten City bears its name well, deserted ruins of eery silence. You try to compensate by talking loudly, but even your cursing trails into uneasiness, and after the third time Aradia replied that it makes sense she’d come here – the last of the Rainbowdrinkers – you stop arguing altogether.

You can’t let it go, though. You’re fuming because a part of you can’t let go of the fact that Kanaya asked you to be her bodyguard. You’re supposed to take the hits and do the body-shielding, fuck it. And you thought—dammit, you’ve been protecting her since she was selling ribbons and criticizing your fashion sense. You let her stuff you into a gorgeous period dress. 

You’re so fucking pale for Kanaya Maryam, and it’s driving you crazy that she didn’t see fit to let you in on her disappearing act.

So yeah, you’re angry.

You’re all so tired when you reach the City, you set up camp for the night. No-one’s at their best; Kanaya’s absence bears down on all of you. Vriska herself is less obnoxious than usual, as if muted down. 

It’s black as the ass-crack of god when Vriska’s shout wakes you up.

I c8n feel it!

WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALMIGHTY FUCK ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT, SERKET? 

Mindf8ng! 

Vriska’s eye is wide and round, sincere with distress.

She’s here, I can feel it! Mindfang’s here and so is Kanaya! 

WHAT

How do you know? 

Ugh, wh8 d8es it m8er?!?!?!?! Wh8 are we w8ing for, l8’s go!!!!!!!! 

Vriska and Aradia are staring at each other, just on this side on glaring. If you do nothing they’ll be spiting spades at each other in two minutes, and you cannot afford to waste time. Only Kanaya could get them to get along.

Your bloodpusher seizes with a pang. 

You take a quick decision. If it’s between Vriska being wrong and Mindfang being on Kanaya’s trail, it’s not even a question. You can always yell at Vriska if it turns out to be nothing more than a bad dream.

I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM SAYING THAT, BUT VRISKA’S RIGHT. WE NEED TO GO FIND KANAYA NOW. 

*

You hurry through the ruins. Aradia’s knowledge of ancient cultures comes in handy, and for once Vriska doesn’t egg her on about it. Thanks to her guiding, you quickly find yourself in an old crypt. Pillars of crumbling stone rise from misty waters, ancient walls supported by generations of ivy. The scene is bathed in the first rays of dawn, casting a surreal lightning on the place. You’re not a religious man, nor are you a serene one, but the place is imbued with spiritual serenity.

In the middle of the crypt, Kanaya is kneeling on top of a platform, deep in prayer.

You take a breath, and start crossing the water, jumping from stone to stone. When Vriska makes to follow you, you gesture at her to wait here and – proof it’s a goddamn miraculous place – she fall backs. 

The mist rises in wisps around your ankles, nebulous relief making you dizzy. Your bloodpusher beats rhythmically in time with your jumps. You have nothing more urgent on your brain than letting Kanaya get an earful. 

Upon reaching the platform, you step closer to Kanaya. You feel light-headed, zen-like like nothing can touch you. She hasn’t noticed your presence yet, engrossed in her prayers. Murmurs of a language you cannot understand reach your ears, guttural and hissing.

Without meaning to, you take your sickle out.

Your arm lifts over Kanaya’s neck.

Vriska’s anguished cry seem to come from a thousand miles.

Karkat! 

Suddenly the enormity of what you’re about to do slaps you in the face, and the knowledge that you would _never_ \--

Who—

Vriska is in your head with you, you realize, forcibly pushing the invader out as you pull your arm back down.

WHAT ARE YOU MAKING ME DO, VRISKA, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

I’m not m8king you do anything!!!!!!!! I’m trying to f8 8ack, 8ut she’s so—it’s M8ndf8ng, g8d she’s so strong! 

It takes only a few seconds, Vriska fighting her off as you step back, and shake your head.

Vriska’s disappeared of your mind at the same time as Mindfang, and Kanaya, finally, is stirred from her communion with the Elder Gods by the noise you’ve made.

She looks up, and smiles.

When Mindfang drops from the ceiling and runs her through with her sword, there’s nothing you can do.

*

After the fight, you fall to your knees. Your cheeks are streaked with tears, dripping down your chin, on your clutched knuckles.

Aradia hesitates a moment, then puts her hand on your shoulder; Vriska stands back, expressionless stare fixed on Kanaya’s body.

Grief has stolen your words, and the fight siphoned your rage away. All that’s left of you is an apathetic puppet. Like Calmasis called you; like Scratch called Vriska; like the Handmaid called Aradia.

Puppets with their strings cut.

Aradia’s hand is rubbing your shoulder, and she means well but she’s only making the pain of losing Kanaya sharpest.

What kind of a fuck-up can’t protect the troll they want for a moirail??? Just how much of a failure are you, anyway? You get everyone killed, you never amounted to anything—

You’re shaking, wracked with sobs, when Aradia gasps, her hand falling away, and you feel a cool hand on your sticky cheek, sliding to your chin and tucking it up.

Stop Crying, Karkat

You gape.

Kanaya is kneeling in front of you, her fingers curled under your chin. Her skin diffuses a soft glow that emphasizes the concern on her face, and she’s alive. Radiant, you think.

Karkat Why Are You Crying

YOU OH GOD KANAYA YOU WERE DEAD  
MINDFANG KILLED YOU  
I’M SO FUCKING SORRY

Karkat Dont  
As You See My Death Has Been Greatly Overplayed  
I Seem To Have Recovered Quite Nicely  
Though I Admit To Being Slightly Famished  
Perks Of Being The Last Of The Rainbowdrinkers

Dumbly, you stare up at her. Out of the corner of your eye, Aradia has joined Vriska and is letting her grip her arm so tightly the skin is turning pale.

I Am Not Dead So Lets Blow This Joint

*

Kanaya returns with you, leaving the City and its dead behind. 

She’s faster and stronger than she was before, and when you go to sleep she can still keep watch. She doesn’t need to eat, either; her sustenance is that of the rainbowdrinkers of myth, and you and Vriska are all too happy to lend her your blood.

Sometimes it nags in the corner of your mind, though. Like you’ve all gone off-script. 

But Vriska’s laughing and Aradia’s beaming, and your moirail is alive, so when Kanaya goes strangely silent and lets her chainsaw do the talking, you push your disloyal thoughts away and focus on tracking Mindfang. It’s only one more question she’ll have to answer.


End file.
